Day 3

It's been a while. There are a lot of excuses for why I haven't been here, but I think that I will not even bother ... boring to me - boring to you!

The good news is that I'm here and I'm moving. Moving in a positive direction. I have finally begun my journey and I am happy and relieved and very challenged at the same time.

So many things are not as I want them to be still. But here is my focus for the here and now ... the way things are and the way I know they will be. I have recently taken the plunge and started attending OA meetings. I am in my third day of abstinence from compulsive eating. I am very proud of myself. For starting down this path again. It will be different this time. First of all, I can come here and write about what is happening. I have a sponsor. And I am committed to making it work, not to finding ways of working around it.

So here I am in Day 3. The first day was really tough. Yesterday was a killer ... very tired, very grumpy. Today am feeling a little better and have a little more energy.

The food plan I am following is:
Breakfast: 4 oz protein, 6 oz fruit
Lunch: 6 oz raw veg, 6 oz cooked veg or 1 oz wheat germ, 4 oz protein
Dinner: 8 oz raw veg, 8 oz cooked veg, 4 oz protein

I do eat butter and salad dressing and drink decaf coffee with 1/2 & 1/2. Otherwise, I just drink water with no snacks or extras.

The biggest challenge so far is around snacking. I find myself longing to be eating. I have so many rituals around it! The places I like to stop for certain things, the things that I'll eat in any particular situation. I guess it really is sick ... feels more comforting, but I guess that that is what it's all about! My sponsor asked me to examine what this is all about. There are so many possibilities. Right now, what I'm seeing is habits that were developed as a means of comfort, of distraction, of entertainment. These things don't help me anymore, however, and I'm done with them. I want to just set them aside, but the desire keeps creeping up for me. Right now, for example, would be prime time for me to be indulging in some kind of snack (healthy or not).

I think I can face it, look at it and not give in to it. Today I can be strong and that's all I need to worry about.

I am going to come either here or FB or somewhere an commit my food every day for at least the next 30 days. One day at a time. And offer any insite into my journey. If you are here and reading, hope you find it helpful. I appreciate any support you give me!