This journey is full of highs and lows ... pretty extreme highs and lows. Sunday was a struggle, yesterday was great, today I'm weary of it. I am tired today, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.
My intention is that it gets easier. That it becomes second nature and that my old habits and desire fade to nothingness. Fad to nothingness. Allowing these compulsions to have free reign has only given me grief and heartache. It is time to let them go. I am now releasing these compulsions and expect that God will remove them, take them away, allow me to move to a better place, to move forward.
I am happy to have more energy, and be more vital.
Todays food:
B - egg, bacon, potato
L - salad, wheat germ, butternut squash, turkey
D - bbq pork, corn, salad
Meeting at 7:00.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Day 9
Biggest challenge today was not having time to eat lunch. Too busy at work. And the crazy thing is that I work at a restaurant.
So I ended up skipping it and have a Sweet & Salty Almond bar ... love those things! Good protein, not too many carbs. Seemed like a good compromise. Besides I wasn't all that hungry anyway because I didn't eat breakfast until 10:00.
So today's meals:
B: Eggs blackstone (no english muffin), decaf coffee
L: Sweet & Salty Almond bar
S: 4 oz fish (cod), 8 oz butternut squash, 8 oz salad
Over all a good day. Am feeling much more energetic. Sore because of all the extra walking, and running at work for 2.5 hours, that I've been doing.
So I ended up skipping it and have a Sweet & Salty Almond bar ... love those things! Good protein, not too many carbs. Seemed like a good compromise. Besides I wasn't all that hungry anyway because I didn't eat breakfast until 10:00.
So today's meals:
B: Eggs blackstone (no english muffin), decaf coffee
L: Sweet & Salty Almond bar
S: 4 oz fish (cod), 8 oz butternut squash, 8 oz salad
Over all a good day. Am feeling much more energetic. Sore because of all the extra walking, and running at work for 2.5 hours, that I've been doing.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Day 8
Okay, day 8 of following my food plan and adjusting well.
I had about 3/4 days of headaches from sugar withdrawals, but I'm settling in nicely now.
The biggest thing I've learned about OA and the compulsion I feel about eating is that the problem is not the diet. It's my thinking.
I'm tapping on the feelings that are coming up and it seems to be helping!
After a week, I've lost about 7 lbs (start: 256, today (11/10): 249).
One day at a time!
I had about 3/4 days of headaches from sugar withdrawals, but I'm settling in nicely now.
The biggest thing I've learned about OA and the compulsion I feel about eating is that the problem is not the diet. It's my thinking.
I'm tapping on the feelings that are coming up and it seems to be helping!
After a week, I've lost about 7 lbs (start: 256, today (11/10): 249).
One day at a time!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Day 3
It's been a while. There are a lot of excuses for why I haven't been here, but I think that I will not even bother ... boring to me - boring to you!
The good news is that I'm here and I'm moving. Moving in a positive direction. I have finally begun my journey and I am happy and relieved and very challenged at the same time.
So many things are not as I want them to be still. But here is my focus for the here and now ... the way things are and the way I know they will be. I have recently taken the plunge and started attending OA meetings. I am in my third day of abstinence from compulsive eating. I am very proud of myself. For starting down this path again. It will be different this time. First of all, I can come here and write about what is happening. I have a sponsor. And I am committed to making it work, not to finding ways of working around it.
So here I am in Day 3. The first day was really tough. Yesterday was a killer ... very tired, very grumpy. Today am feeling a little better and have a little more energy.
The food plan I am following is:
Breakfast: 4 oz protein, 6 oz fruit
Lunch: 6 oz raw veg, 6 oz cooked veg or 1 oz wheat germ, 4 oz protein
Dinner: 8 oz raw veg, 8 oz cooked veg, 4 oz protein
I do eat butter and salad dressing and drink decaf coffee with 1/2 & 1/2. Otherwise, I just drink water with no snacks or extras.
The biggest challenge so far is around snacking. I find myself longing to be eating. I have so many rituals around it! The places I like to stop for certain things, the things that I'll eat in any particular situation. I guess it really is sick ... feels more comforting, but I guess that that is what it's all about! My sponsor asked me to examine what this is all about. There are so many possibilities. Right now, what I'm seeing is habits that were developed as a means of comfort, of distraction, of entertainment. These things don't help me anymore, however, and I'm done with them. I want to just set them aside, but the desire keeps creeping up for me. Right now, for example, would be prime time for me to be indulging in some kind of snack (healthy or not).
I think I can face it, look at it and not give in to it. Today I can be strong and that's all I need to worry about.
I am going to come either here or FB or somewhere an commit my food every day for at least the next 30 days. One day at a time. And offer any insite into my journey. If you are here and reading, hope you find it helpful. I appreciate any support you give me!
The good news is that I'm here and I'm moving. Moving in a positive direction. I have finally begun my journey and I am happy and relieved and very challenged at the same time.
So many things are not as I want them to be still. But here is my focus for the here and now ... the way things are and the way I know they will be. I have recently taken the plunge and started attending OA meetings. I am in my third day of abstinence from compulsive eating. I am very proud of myself. For starting down this path again. It will be different this time. First of all, I can come here and write about what is happening. I have a sponsor. And I am committed to making it work, not to finding ways of working around it.
So here I am in Day 3. The first day was really tough. Yesterday was a killer ... very tired, very grumpy. Today am feeling a little better and have a little more energy.
The food plan I am following is:
Breakfast: 4 oz protein, 6 oz fruit
Lunch: 6 oz raw veg, 6 oz cooked veg or 1 oz wheat germ, 4 oz protein
Dinner: 8 oz raw veg, 8 oz cooked veg, 4 oz protein
I do eat butter and salad dressing and drink decaf coffee with 1/2 & 1/2. Otherwise, I just drink water with no snacks or extras.
The biggest challenge so far is around snacking. I find myself longing to be eating. I have so many rituals around it! The places I like to stop for certain things, the things that I'll eat in any particular situation. I guess it really is sick ... feels more comforting, but I guess that that is what it's all about! My sponsor asked me to examine what this is all about. There are so many possibilities. Right now, what I'm seeing is habits that were developed as a means of comfort, of distraction, of entertainment. These things don't help me anymore, however, and I'm done with them. I want to just set them aside, but the desire keeps creeping up for me. Right now, for example, would be prime time for me to be indulging in some kind of snack (healthy or not).
I think I can face it, look at it and not give in to it. Today I can be strong and that's all I need to worry about.
I am going to come either here or FB or somewhere an commit my food every day for at least the next 30 days. One day at a time. And offer any insite into my journey. If you are here and reading, hope you find it helpful. I appreciate any support you give me!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Here I am
Here I am again. No apologies for not posting. I think about this blog all the time and how I want to write and what I'd say and then the opportunity is gone and another day goes by.
Here I am again. And, I must say that I am doing quite well. A lot has happened in the last few months and I get better and better at living intentionally every day. However, I do think that it would be helpful, to me, to have a place to sit and write things out. So if you are here and reading and you disagree with me, that's fine, I'm just writing about what works for me right now ... what works for you could be completely different. We each have our own journey. This one is mine.
So here is what is happening in my day to day reality. I am working part-time (my own business and part-time hours at a restaurant), unemployment runs out in a couple of weeks, and I don't know what is next ... we need more money coming in to survive. I know that something is going to happen with money and they everything will be okay ... we will carry on, be able to pay the mortgage and the bills, but the suspense is what gets me ... not knowing what the solution is, right now. Ever have this problem?
So I've been reading the book "Ask and It is Given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks. (If you are not familiar with the Hicks' they have written numerous volumes about LOA, etc. that have been extremely helpful to me and many other people ... the whole Abraham and channeling thing can be a little distracting at first, but once you get past it, they are money well spent. I recommend starting with this particular book.)
I mention what is happening in my reality just as a segue to talking about applying some of the tools mentioned in this book. The one I'm thinking about right now is called "Turning it Over to the Manager." The gist is that the Law of Attraction is the big manager of your life ... it is the thing that "manages" all your needs, circumstances, experiences, etc. and when you say to the LOA (or God, as I prefer to think of him, or Source, etc) that you need something it/he immediately begins working on getting it done. However, it seems to be human nature (especially mine) to take things back once handed over to this manager. It is like I'm saying, "oh no, I know better, I have better resources, I have better ways of getting it done, I need to control the universe, so you can just stand by and comfort me, but I'll do it all myself."
Okay, so here is a change for me ... today I know that I have turned my financial needs over to my manager ... I know that it's being worked on and that there is nothing more I can or should be doing right now to work on this. So, I am going to go about doing what I love to do ... spending time with my hubby, my dogs, sewing, etc. whatever, and I will await the results of what God is working on for me ... it will be better than anything I can imagine or create myself.
Thank you God for the gifts you supply, for the love of my family, and pets and for the joy I find in the work that I do. Thank for this playce to live and for all the things that you have provided. I am greatful for each day and for your love. I trust you to supply all of my needs, presently and in the future.
With love,
Debbie
Here I am again. And, I must say that I am doing quite well. A lot has happened in the last few months and I get better and better at living intentionally every day. However, I do think that it would be helpful, to me, to have a place to sit and write things out. So if you are here and reading and you disagree with me, that's fine, I'm just writing about what works for me right now ... what works for you could be completely different. We each have our own journey. This one is mine.
So here is what is happening in my day to day reality. I am working part-time (my own business and part-time hours at a restaurant), unemployment runs out in a couple of weeks, and I don't know what is next ... we need more money coming in to survive. I know that something is going to happen with money and they everything will be okay ... we will carry on, be able to pay the mortgage and the bills, but the suspense is what gets me ... not knowing what the solution is, right now. Ever have this problem?
So I've been reading the book "Ask and It is Given" by Esther and Jerry Hicks. (If you are not familiar with the Hicks' they have written numerous volumes about LOA, etc. that have been extremely helpful to me and many other people ... the whole Abraham and channeling thing can be a little distracting at first, but once you get past it, they are money well spent. I recommend starting with this particular book.)
I mention what is happening in my reality just as a segue to talking about applying some of the tools mentioned in this book. The one I'm thinking about right now is called "Turning it Over to the Manager." The gist is that the Law of Attraction is the big manager of your life ... it is the thing that "manages" all your needs, circumstances, experiences, etc. and when you say to the LOA (or God, as I prefer to think of him, or Source, etc) that you need something it/he immediately begins working on getting it done. However, it seems to be human nature (especially mine) to take things back once handed over to this manager. It is like I'm saying, "oh no, I know better, I have better resources, I have better ways of getting it done, I need to control the universe, so you can just stand by and comfort me, but I'll do it all myself."
Okay, so here is a change for me ... today I know that I have turned my financial needs over to my manager ... I know that it's being worked on and that there is nothing more I can or should be doing right now to work on this. So, I am going to go about doing what I love to do ... spending time with my hubby, my dogs, sewing, etc. whatever, and I will await the results of what God is working on for me ... it will be better than anything I can imagine or create myself.
Thank you God for the gifts you supply, for the love of my family, and pets and for the joy I find in the work that I do. Thank for this playce to live and for all the things that you have provided. I am greatful for each day and for your love. I trust you to supply all of my needs, presently and in the future.
With love,
Debbie
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Time slips away ...
One thing that I would truly like to be able to do is slow down time. It just slips away and I don't know where it's gone! September 1st already ... I can hardly believe it!
Ha! Even more time slipped by! Now it's Sunday, the 6th! Actually it was a good week. A week of some growth and some good times at work.
I think I'll pick this up again tomorrow. Feeling physically tired and pretty much mentally absent.
More later!
Ha! Even more time slipped by! Now it's Sunday, the 6th! Actually it was a good week. A week of some growth and some good times at work.
I think I'll pick this up again tomorrow. Feeling physically tired and pretty much mentally absent.
More later!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
My purpose here
Well a few days have passed. I have to say that the more days that go by, the easier it is to not come here and write. I think that is were I usually allow myself to get caught ... and end up dropping out of something that I've started.
Anyway, I'm back. No excuses for not coming here every day and writing for a few minutes. After all, my purpose here is to keep myself on track, to contemplate my intentions and to share with you.
I have been reading Wayne Dyer's book, Excuses Begone! It has been a help for me if only in that I realize that all of my reasons for not doing what I thought I wanted to do, are just excuses. I am capable of doing everything ... barriers only exist in my mind ... the world is full of endless possibilities.
If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend it! Actually, I recommend any of his books, but you had to read just one, this would be a good place to start.
I have another recommendation too, but I'll save that for later today ... more then!
Anyway, I'm back. No excuses for not coming here every day and writing for a few minutes. After all, my purpose here is to keep myself on track, to contemplate my intentions and to share with you.
I have been reading Wayne Dyer's book, Excuses Begone! It has been a help for me if only in that I realize that all of my reasons for not doing what I thought I wanted to do, are just excuses. I am capable of doing everything ... barriers only exist in my mind ... the world is full of endless possibilities.
If you haven't read this book, I highly recommend it! Actually, I recommend any of his books, but you had to read just one, this would be a good place to start.
I have another recommendation too, but I'll save that for later today ... more then!
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