This journey is full of highs and lows ... pretty extreme highs and lows. Sunday was a struggle, yesterday was great, today I'm weary of it. I am tired today, so I'm sure that has something to do with it.
My intention is that it gets easier. That it becomes second nature and that my old habits and desire fade to nothingness. Fad to nothingness. Allowing these compulsions to have free reign has only given me grief and heartache. It is time to let them go. I am now releasing these compulsions and expect that God will remove them, take them away, allow me to move to a better place, to move forward.
I am happy to have more energy, and be more vital.
Todays food:
B - egg, bacon, potato
L - salad, wheat germ, butternut squash, turkey
D - bbq pork, corn, salad
Meeting at 7:00.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Day 9
Biggest challenge today was not having time to eat lunch. Too busy at work. And the crazy thing is that I work at a restaurant.
So I ended up skipping it and have a Sweet & Salty Almond bar ... love those things! Good protein, not too many carbs. Seemed like a good compromise. Besides I wasn't all that hungry anyway because I didn't eat breakfast until 10:00.
So today's meals:
B: Eggs blackstone (no english muffin), decaf coffee
L: Sweet & Salty Almond bar
S: 4 oz fish (cod), 8 oz butternut squash, 8 oz salad
Over all a good day. Am feeling much more energetic. Sore because of all the extra walking, and running at work for 2.5 hours, that I've been doing.
So I ended up skipping it and have a Sweet & Salty Almond bar ... love those things! Good protein, not too many carbs. Seemed like a good compromise. Besides I wasn't all that hungry anyway because I didn't eat breakfast until 10:00.
So today's meals:
B: Eggs blackstone (no english muffin), decaf coffee
L: Sweet & Salty Almond bar
S: 4 oz fish (cod), 8 oz butternut squash, 8 oz salad
Over all a good day. Am feeling much more energetic. Sore because of all the extra walking, and running at work for 2.5 hours, that I've been doing.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Day 8
Okay, day 8 of following my food plan and adjusting well.
I had about 3/4 days of headaches from sugar withdrawals, but I'm settling in nicely now.
The biggest thing I've learned about OA and the compulsion I feel about eating is that the problem is not the diet. It's my thinking.
I'm tapping on the feelings that are coming up and it seems to be helping!
After a week, I've lost about 7 lbs (start: 256, today (11/10): 249).
One day at a time!
I had about 3/4 days of headaches from sugar withdrawals, but I'm settling in nicely now.
The biggest thing I've learned about OA and the compulsion I feel about eating is that the problem is not the diet. It's my thinking.
I'm tapping on the feelings that are coming up and it seems to be helping!
After a week, I've lost about 7 lbs (start: 256, today (11/10): 249).
One day at a time!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Day 3
It's been a while. There are a lot of excuses for why I haven't been here, but I think that I will not even bother ... boring to me - boring to you!
The good news is that I'm here and I'm moving. Moving in a positive direction. I have finally begun my journey and I am happy and relieved and very challenged at the same time.
So many things are not as I want them to be still. But here is my focus for the here and now ... the way things are and the way I know they will be. I have recently taken the plunge and started attending OA meetings. I am in my third day of abstinence from compulsive eating. I am very proud of myself. For starting down this path again. It will be different this time. First of all, I can come here and write about what is happening. I have a sponsor. And I am committed to making it work, not to finding ways of working around it.
So here I am in Day 3. The first day was really tough. Yesterday was a killer ... very tired, very grumpy. Today am feeling a little better and have a little more energy.
The food plan I am following is:
Breakfast: 4 oz protein, 6 oz fruit
Lunch: 6 oz raw veg, 6 oz cooked veg or 1 oz wheat germ, 4 oz protein
Dinner: 8 oz raw veg, 8 oz cooked veg, 4 oz protein
I do eat butter and salad dressing and drink decaf coffee with 1/2 & 1/2. Otherwise, I just drink water with no snacks or extras.
The biggest challenge so far is around snacking. I find myself longing to be eating. I have so many rituals around it! The places I like to stop for certain things, the things that I'll eat in any particular situation. I guess it really is sick ... feels more comforting, but I guess that that is what it's all about! My sponsor asked me to examine what this is all about. There are so many possibilities. Right now, what I'm seeing is habits that were developed as a means of comfort, of distraction, of entertainment. These things don't help me anymore, however, and I'm done with them. I want to just set them aside, but the desire keeps creeping up for me. Right now, for example, would be prime time for me to be indulging in some kind of snack (healthy or not).
I think I can face it, look at it and not give in to it. Today I can be strong and that's all I need to worry about.
I am going to come either here or FB or somewhere an commit my food every day for at least the next 30 days. One day at a time. And offer any insite into my journey. If you are here and reading, hope you find it helpful. I appreciate any support you give me!
The good news is that I'm here and I'm moving. Moving in a positive direction. I have finally begun my journey and I am happy and relieved and very challenged at the same time.
So many things are not as I want them to be still. But here is my focus for the here and now ... the way things are and the way I know they will be. I have recently taken the plunge and started attending OA meetings. I am in my third day of abstinence from compulsive eating. I am very proud of myself. For starting down this path again. It will be different this time. First of all, I can come here and write about what is happening. I have a sponsor. And I am committed to making it work, not to finding ways of working around it.
So here I am in Day 3. The first day was really tough. Yesterday was a killer ... very tired, very grumpy. Today am feeling a little better and have a little more energy.
The food plan I am following is:
Breakfast: 4 oz protein, 6 oz fruit
Lunch: 6 oz raw veg, 6 oz cooked veg or 1 oz wheat germ, 4 oz protein
Dinner: 8 oz raw veg, 8 oz cooked veg, 4 oz protein
I do eat butter and salad dressing and drink decaf coffee with 1/2 & 1/2. Otherwise, I just drink water with no snacks or extras.
The biggest challenge so far is around snacking. I find myself longing to be eating. I have so many rituals around it! The places I like to stop for certain things, the things that I'll eat in any particular situation. I guess it really is sick ... feels more comforting, but I guess that that is what it's all about! My sponsor asked me to examine what this is all about. There are so many possibilities. Right now, what I'm seeing is habits that were developed as a means of comfort, of distraction, of entertainment. These things don't help me anymore, however, and I'm done with them. I want to just set them aside, but the desire keeps creeping up for me. Right now, for example, would be prime time for me to be indulging in some kind of snack (healthy or not).
I think I can face it, look at it and not give in to it. Today I can be strong and that's all I need to worry about.
I am going to come either here or FB or somewhere an commit my food every day for at least the next 30 days. One day at a time. And offer any insite into my journey. If you are here and reading, hope you find it helpful. I appreciate any support you give me!
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